There is nothing better in the world than having your 2-year-old give you a big hug and say “I love you” right before starting to nurse. The love that you are giving to your child from birth starts to show back once the baby matures and breastfeeding certainly helps with creating that special bond with your child. I remember when I had our first born and thought I was going to breastfeed him for a year because I thought that is what you are suppose to do. Our pediatrician, Dr. William Sears, was kind enough to explain the benefits of extended breastfeeding to me and open my eyes to the idea of child led weaning. It totally made sense to me. I was a working mom at the time as well so nursing after a long day at work really helped me to reconnect with my child and he looked forward to it also. 

Our daughter is 2 now and in the so called “terrible twos” phase. Breastfeeding really helps to calm her down if she gets upset and gives her a moment to wind down. This has been really helpful at restaurants and other public places. I use a nursing cover with her when we are out and about. I never used a cover with our son but after discovering a nursing cover and how convenient it is when you are breastfeeding in public, I highly recommend one. It’s not matter of having to hide your breastfeeding, to me it’s more like having my own privacy and our daughter likes it too because it shields her from the outside distractions and gives her a moment of peace as well. Now that she is older she asks for the cover if we are in public places and she wants to nurse. It’s so cute that she associates that with public places and knows that we don’t use one at home unless there are other kids around such as our older son’s friends who might have not been exposed to nursing at home.

I’m forever grateful to Dr. Sears for helping me to realize the benefits of extended breastfeeding. Now I wouldn’t have it any other way. Each child matures at different rates so the time they wean varies. Our son self weaned at 2 ½  years of age, right after he potty trained himself. He was a big boy now and didn’t need/want breastfeeding anymore. It was the most joyful yet sad day of my life because my baby had grown up to be a little man of his own who knew what he wanted. Now at 7 years of age, he is the same way. He is extremely confident and social and caring child. He always wants to make sure people around him are ok. He helps the children at school who might not be considered “popular” so that they don’t get left alone. He is also so kind, caring and affectionate with his little sister and he knows how important breastfeeding is for his little sister. I contribute all this to extended breastfeeding and the strong foundation he got in the early years of life.

I’m interested in seeing how long our daughter will breastfeed. At times she tells us that she is too big to breastfeed but wants it still at the same time. It’s so cute to see her journey growing up and how she is thinking about being a big girl all on her own. Until she self weans, I’m cherishing these moments of nursing. I even cherish the night time nursings because it’s our special time together. Her little arms are wrapped around my body and she is so content. After nursing, she goes right to sleep and I lay down next to her. I feel so content knowing that I’m helping her to grow up day and night and I help her sort through her feelings during these sometimes difficult times of being a 2-year old by breastfeeding.  

I just finished reading an article in the February edition of the BabyTalk magazine about mixing breast and bottle feeding. The article makes it sound like it’s no big deal which is completely bogus and made me so upset. It appears to me that the whole idea of this article is to make it easier for moms not to feel “guilty” about bottle feeding and not wanting to breastfeed exclusively. In my opinion the reasons for why a woman chooses a bottle over breast is because they haven’t received the proper support from the beginning as to how to breastfeed and what should be expected. I’ve delivered 2 babies and I have to say that the hospital staff in both cases (2 different hospitals) varied tremendously on their knowledge about breastfeeding. Unfortunately I don’t have the confidence that the staff in the hospitals around the US really is adequately equipped to support a woman who wants to exclusively breastfeed due to constant push by the formula companies with free formula samples etc.

The article also talks about how nice it is for the dad to be able to give an occasional bottle and how that’s good for bonding. The fact is that a woman was created with the ability to breastfeed not a man and for that reason alone, the mother is the primary care taker for a long time by nature. The father has several years to work on the bonding with the baby and one bottle here or there won’t help that bonding. It just confuses the baby who is looking for the mother and the breast to give him comfort. I’ve also heard that some women like it when the dad can do some of the night time feedings etc. The unfortunate fact is that having children is not easy and it was not meant to be easy so if a woman is not ready to have several sleepless nights, then maybe she is not ready for a baby. The time when a newborn needs a constant closeness and mother to feed every hour or so is so little in the child’s life that it certainly should not be a reason for a mother to choose to give a bottle especially one that has formula in it.
Now there are times when breastfeeding doesn’t start off the right way and a woman is forced to pump and bottle feed while trying to work on improving the breastfeeding situation. This actually happened to me with our second even though I considered myself to be a pro at it after nursing one child for 2 1/2 years. I had to pump and work really hard to get my baby to learn to breastfeed. It was difficult but all worth it. Everything worked out great due to wonderful support and guidance I received from a lactation consultant (Susan at Dr. Sears’ office).

When a mother returns to work, the baby obviously has to receive bottles during the day when the mother is at work but as long as this happens later in the baby’s life, it won’t affect the breastfeeding as much. The fact that women are expected to return to work at 6 weeks post-partum speaks to the problem we have in America and the lack of general awareness and knowledge about breastfeeding. A 6 week-old baby is not ready to be “weaned” from his mother during the day to be bottle fed by someone other than the mother. This is great rule for the formula manufactures because so many women won’t even bother trying to pump at work especially if they are not given a proper place and time to do it during the work day. I’m a working mother so I know first hand what it’s like to work and pump at work and juggle the pumping and breastfeeding. It might sound like a lot but it’s an investment you are making for your child’s future and it’s all worth it. Going back to work is no reason to quit breastfeeding and for sure is no reason to not to breastfeed from birth knowing that the mother will be going to work. Sharing those special moments after work while breastfeeding your baby makes all the difference in the world and helps the mother and baby to bond and take back some lost time. The bottom line is that I wish the society would be more pro-breastfeeding and the health care professionals would be more educated about breastfeeding and how to encourage and help mothers to succeed with breastfeeding. It’s proven to be way superior to formula in all the levels imaginable (nutrition, IQ, mental development etc) yet the formula companies have such a hold on the general public that more women choose the formula over convenient and free breastmilk just because they don’t know any better or are brainwashed to think there is no harm of giving bottles of formula to babies. Articles like this mentioned earlier also speaks to how the American public is conditioned to think this way. Since I’m from Finland I can say that the mentality there is very different and working mothers are being supported very differently than here in the US to assure that the mother and baby get off in a good start and can share what nature intended for mothers and babies.